Silent Moon Canceled!
by Blazeraptor54
Summary: I had a lot to drink, I'm tired, and I'm done with Silent Moon!
1. Chapter 1

_(I'm sorry…but I'm having to be done with the story, so I'm ending it on a funny note with this little dear of a one-shot...lol.)_

* * *

Outside of small office building, located in Louisville Kentucky, a green-eyed man with a pudgy build was fuming as he waives his papers around. He was fuming as he looked at his laptop, noticing that once again it had fried.

"OH, FUCK ME!" He cries out as he bashed his head against the wall, "ALL OF APRIL'S EPISODES ARE FUCKED!"

A red-haired woman ran into the office room, "wait for what?!"

"Yeah that's right Pyrrha, everything, and I mean everything is F.U.C.K.E.D!"  
"Why, and how Blaze?!"

"I sort of, well, caught a virus…on my computer…again…" Blaze admits as he poked at his fingers, "and well…we're fucked!"

"Wait, we can get everyone in, we still have the scripts for episodes sixty-seven through ninety, right?! The whole Vytal Tournament, The Death of Little Jay, Cardin, Lapis?! All of them are gone, oh for fuck sakes!" Blaze cries out as he goes through the filing cabinet, "goddamn it Skyron! You and your secret project, you forgot the organize the scripts!"

"Maybe, well, maybe we can just write new scripts!" Pyrrha offers up, "and maybe most of the cast have some left!"

"You're right, let's call in an emergency team meeting!" Blaze slammed his fist on the table, "all actors, even OCs that haven't been revealed yet, get them in!"

Pyrrha nods and walks out of the room, leaving Blaze sitting there and sulking over his newly infected laptop. He sighs, looking at it, and then simply closes it before breaking it in half.

"CPU is screwed, no recovery looks like Raptor Productions is going to have an expenditure…damn it all. I should've stayed at GE, why the fuck did I quit my fucking job, eh?! Oh, yeah, that's right. All the fucking potential for money someone promised me, PORT! You know what, fuck it, at least one person should have the scripts." Blaze calmly takes a deep breath, "please…sweet buttery Jesus let them have the scripts."

* * *

"WHAT FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE THE SCRIPTS CINDER!" Blaze screams while flailing his arms about, "Goddamn it, you're supposed to be the smart one!"

"Hey, I didn't write Silent Moon, you did. You wanted topnotch actors and actresses, got Uzumaki Naruto to play fucking Namikaze Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke to play Uchiha Sasuke. This was a big money project, and you screwed it up not only for yourself but my career. I don't want to go back to Rule Thirty-Four Website Vids. I…am…done with that part of my life!" Cinder argues back as the director of Silent Moon slaps his face.

Taking a deep breath, "does Salem have a copy?"

"No."  
"Why the fuck not?"  
"Because she's wanting a sex scene."  
"Pardon me."  
"Sex scene."  
"With who?!"  
"Ozpin."

Blaze just deadpanned, staring into Cinder's very soul, he looked around before finding the nearest column and started bashing his head into it. Screaming in frustration, and then slowly whimpering as he realized that it was an ultimatum.

"She either gets the scene or there is no script, right?"  
"Yes."  
"Look, tell Salem that I can do an ONE SHOT."  
"Okay, that may work, I'm pretty sure she has the scripts."

"She better," Blaze messaged his temples, "because she supposed to kill Little Jay by shooting a crystal into his chest."

"Well, you should really slap a spoiler warning onto that, don't you think?" Cinder questioned, folding her arms and looking at Blaze incredulously.

"There won't be a Silent Moon without the scripts!"  
"We'll find the scripts, Salem wants that sex scene though."  
"I'll work on it."

"Oh, Super Boy called, he was wondering when Dearest was getting a sequel." Cinder offhandedly comments as she walks away, leaving Blaze sighing on the ground.

* * *

"You don't have them…"  
"No…"  
"You do realize you ain't getting that sex scene, right?"  
"So, and what sex scene?"  
"Wait…"

Blaze looked at Salem, he blinked as she read the last scripts for Episode Ninety, and then realized something.

"Cinder…you bitch…" He says in disbelieve as he looked at Salem, "well because of Cinder you're now making a porno with Ozpin."

"The hell I am!" Salem suddenly ignited the scripts in her hands, "oh shit…"

"GODDAMN IT SALEM!" Blaze yells as he watched the script she held for episode ninety go up n flames, "why?!"

"Okay, I know you're mad, and I feel terribly sorry…but…"  
"But, what."  
"You could say that this was a…slash and burn?"  
"You and Yang talk way too much together."  
"Girl can hold her liquor, and her men."

"Aaaannnyway," Blaze drawls loudly, he slaps his head, "we're screwed."

"Try Ruby, she usually has the scripts on her."  
"We can't…"  
"Why?"  
"Because, I don't know, not like she's having surgery now."

"Oh, dear, what happened?" Salem asks as she scratched her chin, "wait, is this because of you giving Naruto Viagra as a joke."

"Look, he's hyper all the fucking time, I didn't think Viagra would make him super fucking horny in the sex scene for episode seventy-five, and well…Ruby got a tear." Blaze rubs the back of his head, all of the sudden hearing the alerts on his phone go off.

 _"_ _Unfollowing Silent Moon, story is gay."  
"This story is stupid, like the author."  
"Gay as fuck."  
"GAAAAAAYYYYY."  
"This guy's some ripoff, he doesn't even use Monty's naming rule, fucking loser!"  
"GRAMMAR MOTHERFUCKER DO yOU KnOw It BiTCh." _

"Yeeet!" Blaze Hollard as he threw his phone, hitting Mercury across the head by accident.

"Ow, fuck Blaze, watch it!" Mercury complained as he rubbed the back of his head, "I'm pretty loved in this story."

"NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOU MERCURY!" Blaze suddenly yells at Mercury, "you'll die a horrible death by the embrace of an out for blood Raven anyway!"

"Wait," Raven walks in, "I'm supposed to kill him?"

"Yes!"  
"That's my first on-screen kill?"  
"Yes…point?"

Raven looked at Mercury, then looked at Blaze, and then blinked once.

"That's not…very significant, I mean if I had killed him in the original run of RWBY and he was dead…I mean, what? Oh no, the overly flamboyant patricidal assassin is dead…oh…woe…who would've ever seen this coming!" Raven dramatically insults the script, "seriously that's my significant kill in chapter ninety, the most significant chapter of all!"

"Yeah, well don't worry sweetheart, unless you don't have scripts we're pretty much fucked!" Blaze slapped his face, "I'm like Frieza looking at the Ginyu Force…why didn't I just make a Dragon Ball Super Crossover with RWBY?!"

"Because you suck," Mercury comments, only for Emerald to knock him out as she entered.

"Better," Emerald said as she crossed her arms, "and because you'd literally have to throw power scaling out your ass."

"Oh Emerald, please…please tell me you have the scripts!" Blaze begs, "I'll pay you extra, even give you extra scenes, make you more relevant than Cinder."

"I was already supposed to be The Fall Maiden after Cinder gets axed in Episode Eighty-Seven by Naruto ripping her head off for killing Lapis." Emerald rubbed her chin, "how could you make me more significant?"

"You get your own story."  
"Oh, fuck, really!"  
"Yes, but do you have the scripts?"  
"Um, well…maybe…I need to run home."  
"Go, go, fly like the wind!"

Emerald salutes Blaze, running as fast as she could out of the door. Blaze then sighs, looking at the team that was currently assembled and looked at Naruto who was entering the building. He was reading episode ninety's script and looking at Blaze.

"So, Summer died?" Naruto questions as he rubbed the back of his head, "that's pretty harsh…"

"I did, I haven't seen the new script, by the way, Naruto…sweetie…your driving skills need work." Summer enters behind Naruto, "especially since you may be a father in the next nine months to my grandchild."

"True, true, and we don't have to worry about delays since Blaze and we got most of the episodes recorded up…right buddy?" Naruto questioned as he rubbed the back of his head, "by the way I'll be loving red hair, my man…Blaze?"

"Do you have the scripts for episodes sixty-seven through ninety?"  
"No, just ninety."  
"Oh, and do you have a good number to a CGI expert?"  
"Oh yeah, Shikamaru, remember him?"

"Splendid, so long as we get the episodes we'll have a CGI Ruby reshooting the scenes with you, even the sex scene. So, when she finally gives birth we'll be where the story should be done, and bam, child of a hero!" Blaze clapped his hands together, "see it's blessing in disguise!"

"Speaking of blessings, my family has an unnaturally high twin and triplet birthrate. No, seriously, The Uzumaki Family usually has twins. My mother and I skipped out, so…" Blaze's resounding slap filled the room as he slapped himself, "we'll…be…having twins...maybe…"

"Okay, well, hey Naruto did you know that you and Sienna Khan are supposed to meet son in A Brave New World?" Salem questioned, "that'll be fun, right?"

"Oh yeah, I love working with Sienna." Naruto rubs the back of her head, "she's a hardass on camera but a sweet and shy gal out of it."

"Oh, is that so, you wouldn't think Sienna would be such a…pussycat." Salem throws another pun out there, and then they watch as most of Team RWBY, minus the R walk in.

"What do you mean I'm a lesbian in Silent Moon!"  
"And that I and Weiss are together!"  
"We're supposed to have boyfriends, isn't that why you made Lasair!  
"What about Sun, Sun is supposed to be with me, not her!"

"Hey," Blaze held up his hands, "everyone likes a little chocolate and vanilla here and there."

Cinder shrugs, "I don't see anything wrong with, I mean, it'd be a first if he did it."

"Well…" Weiss rubs the back of her head, "I suppose it'd be a good one shot…"

"Wonder how well the reviews would be?" Blaze questioned aloud as he scratched his bearded chin, "hmm…"

"Probably spectacular, considering that Amira is pregnant in Silent Moon." Qrow says, making everyone turn to him as he sat in a chair drinking, "what?"

"Goddamn it Qrow, that was supposed to be a secret!" Amira yells, "and that Lapis isn't the father!"

"Who is it then, Cardin?" Velvet jokingly questions as she enters, only to receive silence, "what…'

"We were going to tell you…"  
"What?"  
"That well you see…"  
"What…"  
"Well…"  
"WHAT BLAZE!"  
"You get killed off screen by a Beowulf and die with Carmella."

Velvet looked at everyone, she then nods, "and there goes my role…right?"

"Pretty much, Cardin discovers you, and this is after he sleeps with Amira after her and he get drunk." Blaze points out, "soap operas sell man."

"Well, I heard you were missing the scripts, right?" Velvet asks as she looks down at the ground.

"Yeah, you got them?" Blaze questioned as she took out a stack of papers, looking at him.

"Yeah," she then rips them to shreds, "shove them up your arse."

"NOOOO!" Everyone screams, "Velvet!"

"Screw you guys, I'm going home, I got cucked out of screen time anyhow!" Velvet whines as she runs off.

Blaze looks at the shreds on the floor, and then sighs, "well looks like I'll be moving to Wattpad after all."

"Really, Wattpad?"  
"Yeah, Cinder, Wattpad."  
"Wow…that's…"  
"Yep, I know, oh well…there's always Reddit."

"So, am I ever going to get a part?" Orochimaru asked as he emerged from behind Blake.

Blake suddenly jumps forward, "Jesus! Warn me next time you snake bastard, for the love of all that is holy today!"

"Well, you said that all Naruto characters in this story are pretty much reincarnations of their former selves, so…what about me?"  
"Eh, you were supposed to be Ninety-One."  
"Oh, really?"  
"Yep."

Orochimaru nods, and looks around, "and just like Weiss I slowly creep in the background."

"Hey," Weiss exclaims, "I don't creep!"

"You barely getting any speaking parts, you don't ever get much screen time, you don't have a love interest. You also don't have a fleshed-out character arc, unlike Blake, even Yang somewhat, and we all know Ruby is going to always get screen since she's sucking Naruto dick." Cinder pointed out, with Naruto growling at her, "and you know what…now that I think about the author put a rating poll on his page."

"Yeah, if his story was five stars through one stat, and I'm going to downvote that shit!" Weiss exclaims as she got onto on her phone. "Fucking better give me a damn character arc and let me have a decent love interest!"

"So, did Qrow really rape me?" Summer asked as she looked Blaze.

"Oh, yeah, and Ruby is your daughter with him congratulations!" Blaze did a slow clap, "anyone who knows me by now knows that's my angle!"

"Oh…wow, that's…extremely…disturbing." Summer murmured as she looked at her boss, "um…"

"Well, you should the amount of RWBY porn on the internet, I mean good lord most of it has me screwing Cinder with a giant dick." Salem points out, "so Blaze being disturbing is par for the course."

"Speaking of which, since Sasuke unlocked Super Saiyan in Sixty-Six, do I get my Super Saiyan form soon?"  
"You mean True Instinct."  
"You and I both know you just mixed Ultra Instinct with Super Saiyan, don't play."  
"Okay…fair enough."

Blaze sighs, they were still waiting on Emerald as more and more people came in, "I need some whiskey."

"You had enough," Salem states, "you got too drunk the other week to do anything."

"Hey, I was just trying to destress myself, forgive me, your highness. So, when do you start in your next FUTA scene?" Blaze low blows as he spoke, crossing his arms, "I'm not a drunk."

"You know people are going to watch this since we've got like reality show going on like…now or something. This is like Jersey Shore bro," Ren files his nails, "save it sucks bro."

"You know on a screen you're a lot better of a person."  
"Meh, money talks, or I walk."

"Okay, well Emerald should be getting back any moment. I can almost hear the ranting and ravings from this triage. But, meh, who cares its fanfiction anyway. Besides I used to make and produce chapters on the same day after going to the gym for an hour and working eleven hours a day. So, yeah, we're good." Blaze then watched as Emerald opened and entered the cast room door. "I can work my way back..."

He smiles, "speak of the booty devil."

"Hey, um Blaze…"  
"Yes, you got them?"  
"Um, about that, I dropped my flash drive in my fish tank."

Blaze's world stops, "you what?"

"Dropped my flash drive in the fish tank," Emerald takes a deep breath, "and…does this mean we'recanceledd."

"Your damn right it does, out, everyone out!" Blaze screams, "I'm doing a WWE thing now. YOUR FIRED, all of you, get!"

Everyone leaves, leaving Blaze in the room all alone, and he sighs.

"So yes, do to personal issues I've decided the best thing to do is canceling Silent Moon." Blaze smiled sadly, "but you all have been the best thing ever…thank you."

"Oh, has anyone seen my keys?" The door slams shut, only a pair of golden eyes are visible as they approach Blaze.

Blaze takes a deep shuttering breath, "um, yes?"

"When, when are you going to say it."  
"Um Tyrian…"  
"Just say it…please, just once."  
"You're scaring me man."

The golden eyes turned purple, "say it…bitch."

"I love you!" Blaze suddenly shrieks, and then the lights popped revealing a very confused Tyrian.

"What, no, I was going to ask that you say happy birthday Tyrian, what the fuck man, I'm out of here! Me and Hidan have a game at five anyway, ciao," Tyrian said as he left the building, leaving Blaze all alone again.

"I'm so done with this place…" He murmurs as he sits in a chair, "oh well time to make Dearest Part Two!"


	2. The reason why!

APIRL FOOLS, IT'S NEVER GOING TO DIE!


End file.
